fuck this. i mean. PUTANGINA. i know i shouldn't care about
him and his
fucking chick but
I DO. not because i love him or any of that crap. but just because of my
BRUISED PRIDE. i've never been one of those ma-pride na tao. but that changed. i mean,
I was the who ended it. not him. i mean the both of us fucking went around circles for
FOUR GODDAMN MONTHS! that's the longest i've ever been with a guy. i fuckin chased him
ONCE when he ended it. back then it hurt like hell. i cried the whole bloody night over some stupid guy that didn't even deserve it. i went to school the next day looking like hell because of that. god. it was four months and what i felt for him was fucking close to love! i mean. i was faithful to him and only him. what more does he want from me? apparently more. he wanted to be in a serious relationship. like i'd ever agree to that. i've learned from past mistakes and i don't intend on getting hurt that bad again. im not saying that i'm some kind of player or anything like that but come on. im young. my m.u's before lasted for only a month then i'd end it coz i dunno.. maybe i felt scared or bored or i met someone else or i was plain suffocated. whatever. i mean. we always fought. day and night but somehow we would always get oevr it you know? then i duno. i ended and said i hope we could still be friends. and he had
the FUCKING NERVE to tell me that he wouldn't be in any kind of relationship until i was ready or some shit like that. i mean its not like i'd still want him a year from now. but it's a big blow to the ego you know? i mean. he fucking said he love dme even though he knew right from the start that i could never return his feelings like that. that i didn't want to have a boyfriend or that i dunno. but i stuck around. i know i was a bitch to him. hurting him like hell. but he wasnt the only one who was hurt. i was hurt too you know? i mean, sure he showered me with affections and crap like that but he lies to me. not some big lie or anything but he still did. we were both immature and stubborn. i mean, sure days after i ended it with him, it hurt but i was somehow relieved coz i was free. but i missed him. missed him like hell. but i just dealt with it. i mean we had good times and both sacrificed. he sacrificed his time and so did i. but you know what hurt the most? it hurt that we didn't trust each other that well that we don't even talk on the phone or soemthing. i don't even know him. but i was close to loving him. i was.. it just bugs me a whole lot that i dunno.. he found a replacement so quickly. not that i wouldn't have if the oppurtunity presented itself. but he
FUCKING PROMISED. guess that didn't mean much huh? i know i treated him like crap but didn't he get that
some people play hard to get because they need to know if the other person's feelings are real.. i needed to know that. coz i was tired of gettign hurt. fuck. god. i feel so much better now.. but damn. it stings you know. i don't know if i should laugh it off or what.. i don't think i'm even ready to face him with that fucking wkhomre. god. okay. if he wants to play with fire. if he wants to actually see how much of a bitch i can be. if he wants to play games.
BRING IT ON.
